News Detail

Calm Breaks: Helping Preschoolers Navigate Big Feelings

9/17/2026

Yesenia Morales

The start of a new school year is exciting. New backpacks, new friends, and new routines. But for our three- and four-year-olds, it can also feel like a lot. Tears at drop-off, frustration over the wrong color cup, hitting when words will not come, or shutting down when something feels too big are all things we may see during the preschool years.

To adults, some of these things may seem small, but to a young child, they can feel very big. Think about the parking spot someone took when you were already running late and barely holding it together. Sometimes the wrong color cup really is the last straw!

Our preschool friends are still learning to identify emotions, use language to express what they need, and manage strong feelings. Big emotions often communicate something a young child does not yet have the words or skills to express. While all feelings are okay, children still need our help learning safe and appropriate ways to respond to those feelings.

What Is Happening During the Preschool Years?

The parts of the brain involved in managing emotions, thinking, and self-control are still developing rapidly during early childhood. When children are overwhelmed by a strong emotion, it can be harder for them to access the language and problem-solving skills they are still learning.

During the preschool years, children are learning to name emotions, wait and take turns, transition between activities, use words instead of physical actions, recognize emotions in others, and begin calming their bodies with adult support. These are skills that need lots of practice, not skills we expect preschoolers to have already mastered.

What a Calm Break Can Look Like

One tool we practice in our classroom is a Calm Break. When emotions get big, we pause and help the child calm their body before talking through what happened.

When a child is first learning this process, the adult guides the way:

Name the emotion: “You look sad.”
Help them regulate: Offer a hug, a few slow breaths, or a little space.
Listen: “What happened?”
Validate the feeling: “It makes sense that you felt sad when your friend took the toy.”
Model a strategy: “When I feel upset, taking a few slow breaths helps my body calm down.”
Notice when they are ready: “Your body looks calmer. Are you ready to go play?”

With practice, children begin to need less help. An adult might simply say, “Let’s take a breath,” “How are you feeling?” or “Would you like a hug or a little break?”

Practice these strategies when your child is calm, too. The goal is to make the process familiar so that, over time, children begin to recognize their feelings and use these tools with greater independence.

We Are in This Together

My priority in the classroom is that every child feels safe, seen, and respected. When children have support and tools for moving through big emotions, they are better prepared to connect, learn, and grow.

Research supports helping young children identify emotions and practice strategies for managing them. By using similar language and strategies at school and at home, we can work together to help our preschoolers build these important skills.

If your family is navigating a bigger life change, such as a move, loss, or family transition, Christen Timmons, our Preschool and Lower School counselor, is a wonderful resource and is available to support our families.

Thank you for your partnership!

Yesenia Morales

Sources: Harvard Center on the Developing Child, Children’s Emotional Development Is Built into the Architecture of Their Brains; Grabell et al. (2019), Developmental Cognitive Neuroscience; Bivins & Grabell (2024), Translational Issues in Psychological Science; Wilson, Wright & Jack (2023), Journal of Innovations in Teaching and Learning.

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Trinity School of Midland

3500 West Wadley Avenue, Midland Texas 79707 - Email: info@trinitymidland.org - Phone: (432) 697-3281 - Fax: (432) 697-7403 -